Ryan turned 18 over the weekend. It was a happy occasion. I started planning the day about a week ahead of time. Having autism, Ryan doesn’t have a lot of friends. He talks with people, if they ask him a question. However, extended conversations still elude Ryan. Therefore, it is difficult to cultivate and maintain typical friendships. Since this was a milestone, I wanted it to be memorable for Ryan.
I surprised him in the morning by taking him out for a birthday breakfast. A local restaurant offers a free breakfast on the actual birth date. He had no problem with that. Ryan then visited a fellow home schooling family. I knew Ryan wanted to go to Benihana’s for dinner, but I had other plans in store for him. So we went to lunch there. He felt at ease since we had been there recently. He gave a big smile when the camera came around, as compared to the photo taken about a month ago. Ryan doesn’t usually smile with such ease.
In the evening I ran some errands with the boys to keep them guessing where we were going. I was successful for most of the ride. Eventually, they guessed where we were destined, but they didn’t guess a surprise party with extended family members. We had a wonderful pool party with cousins and relatives. Ryan enjoyed the surprise and the festivities.
I was very thankful that most relatives came. It is very hard for a parent to celebrate events for teens with autism. My sister’s comment illustrated the point. Her daughter asked why Ryan wasn’t celebrating with his friends? My sister had to explain to her daughter that autism can inhibit communication with others. So even kids who know Matthew quite well don’t fully comprehend what it’s like socially for a teen with autism. That circle of friends that seems so typical of teenagers doesn’t necessarily exist for these autistic kids.
It’s always a question for the parents: how to fill that void? I’m not sure there is an answer.
For now, I’m glad that Ryan had a happy birthday, and we continue to work on conversation skills.
sherylscript 