Really? I look at the sky as I sigh. This time I say it aloud, “Really?”
Yes, I’m asking the Good Lord if this is what he wants me to face. Like I can really do this. I am not trained in this. I don’t know what I am doing. No map. No guide. No manual.
“This” in the last paragraph could be anything. It could be autism, government agencies, doctors, etc. So many aspects of autism and teenagers emerge, and I have no idea where to even begin.
I don’t like guessing. I’d rather know what needs to be done and just do it. I like to see end results. I also don’t mind if someone else sees the finished product and gives me a “thumbs up”. I will listen to the “thumbs down”, but I prefer the former option.
With autism, there is no finish line. Tis always a work in progress. And these are boys, actually, young men now. Not some project or task. There are no days off. Always going. Always something.
I’ve told some friends that I really think God has mixed me up with someone who can handle this life I lead. I’m just waiting for this person to show up. Anyways, my friends and I laugh. I think we all can feel that way. Some aspects of life are simply bigger than we are, and we don’t have all the answers.
We just keep pluggin’ along. And I ask the Good Lord for guidance.
photo credit: Phillip F Chavez, PhD http://masculinespirituality.com/site/
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