Category: autistic teens

Smile Sadly

Nick and Cam

Autistic or not, facial expressions reveal a lot about us.  Feelings just flow out.  Quite often, we can misinterpret a gesture or a word, but faces expose truth.

Today was the first day of school.  Tis easy to guess who is the senior and who is the freshman.  Just look at their faces!!  One has one more year, and the other has four.

Nick gave Cam quite a bit of advice.  Quite a novelty to see Nick taking the big-brother role!

The bright side for both of them is that they “face” only 179 more days of school.

Cacti Garden: Project Done!

Before the work began.  Dead plant.

The boys finished the cacti garden the next day.  It’s just taken me a few weeks to get the photos.  They worked well together, although they did ask if they could stop and finish “later” or “tomorrow”.  I kept them on task.  When they were done, they were very proud of their work.

Each boy had his own cactus or succulent that was special to him, but they worked together to space out the plants.  Ryan figured out quickly how not to get pricked by the spines.  He used the plastic container that the cactus came in.  He simply flipped the container over and guided the top of the plant where he wanted it.  Then he quickly filled in the dirt around the plant.  Cameron tried not to use anything, but in the end, he admitted he needed gloves.  Nick just kept quietly digging and filling dirt without a word.

Ryan in front.  Cameron in the red shirt.  Nick in the back.

It’s been two weeks, and they are very concerned about watering the cacti garden.  I have to remind them that cacti don’t need water.  Hence, one of the reasons we picked to add them to our landscape.  Less water, less $$ out.

They periodically go out to check on the growth of the garden.  Ryan is especially proud of his saguaro.  It’ll be the biggest cactus in the garden in a few years.

I can’t wait to see how the plants progress and how each boy looks after garden in the coming months and years.

Finally done!

Adaptation

The whole family has been on vacation since Sunday (so I won’t be writing directly about my past “breaks” from the family today).  There have been minor catastrophes along the way, but the boys are showing great resilience.  On Sunday, our air conditioner went out in the van.  Not fun when driving through the desert of Arizona and California in the afternoon.  I purchased small hand-held fans, which helped a bit.   However,  it was 109 degrees outside.  The boys understood that it was going to be a hot ride, and they didn’t complain.

We tried to get the van fixed when we arrived in Northern CA.  Unfortunately, the dealership had to order the part, and it would take a few days to arrive.  Consequently, we had to get a rental car.    So now the boys are riding an an unfamiliar car.  Again, with minimal stress.  The car is smaller than the van, so teen boys are having to adapt to smaller quarters.  Adaptation is not easy for autistic kids, yet they seem to be handling the transitions well.

I don’t think this would have been possible even two years ago.  The boys’ therapies have paid off incredibly.   We have tried to push the transitions and sensory issues with baby steps through the years, ie getting used to light, sounds, and textures as well as changes in schedules and routines.  We have talked with the boys as each of these current changes have happened, trying to ease them into the new circumstances.  So through the therapies, including speech, they are doing very well so far.

Today we will be traveling in this smaller car to the coast and Redwoods, spending a lot of time in the car.  Twill be interesting to see if they stay calm!

Too Much On Your Plate?


Multi-task. Going 24/7. Not enough time in the day. Too much to do.

It’s called adulthood. Responsibilities demand our attention. Well, that is why I’m not writing as frequently as I’d like. I’m pulled in so many directions, that my brain pretends to be more flexible than a rubber band. I have a lot of energy, but it seems I don’t get anything done. Frustrating.

This happens to everyone, not just parents of autistic teens. I see many moms–crazed and dazed. I ask them how they’re doing, and the response is usually similar, “I’m running.”

A friend wrote to me today, saying that she was making mistakes because she had “too much on her plate”. I can totally relate. I replied that we must be at the same feast. My friend appreciated my understanding her.

We’re all busy, but a positive attitude helps. So, yes, my friend and I are at this “busy” feast. I can’t wait until dessert is served. I am up for a good challenge of dealing with too much chocolate on my plate!

photo credit:http://www.flickr.com/photos/jennedwards/

Consoled By A Little Fat

A mom must remain optimistic. A sense of humor doesn’t hurt either. Sometimes kids, even with autism, unknowingly provide opportunities to laugh.

Case Study:
Over the last six, stressful months, I have put on a few pounds. These pounds are definitely not needed nor wanted. I voiced that thought. My son, Ryan, heard me. He tried to console me, “Mom, you are not REALLY fat. You’re just A LITTLE fat.” I was not sure how to react. He was sincere. He spoke the truth as he saw it. I ended up laughing.

Here is an autistic teen trying to make me feel better. Of course, I would have preferred no mention of “fat”. I had to laugh and go with it. I also noted that Matt is developing empathy in a relationship; that is not typical of many kids with autism. So I applaud Ryan.

Footprints with a Twist-Part II

There is no doubt that the imagery and faith conveyed in the poem, “Footprints in the Sand”, are beautiful, personal revelations by the author. I am positive that many people have found consolation and hope via this poem. In fact, I have found inspiration by reading this poem in times of difficulty.


So why do I say my experience has been different from the warm and fuzzy ending? When I have spoken with people about this, I usually get a laugh and a comment, “That’s twisted.” So be warned.

When I have been carried, I have not necessarily gone quietly. I was probably carried in a fireman’s hold because I was kicking and screaming. I could have been carried, well, dragged which would have left a stream of lines and footprints, indicating I was trying to run away. I was carried like a rebellious child throwing a tantrum because I didn’t like what was ahead of me. I didn’t want to face it. I didn’t want to deal with it.

It? What is “it”?

I certainly didn’t volunteer to be a mother of two autistic teens, let alone of four kids with disabilities at one point. I didn’t want to mourn a child lost in a miscarriage. I could list a myriad of issues and problems. Alas, everyone has things to handle, and everyone’s ability to do so varies. So who’s to judge what is a hard life or who’s problems are bigger?

I like happy endings. I root for the underdog. I like things simply stated. I acknowledge what is left unsaid. Some things just can’t be expressed through words. Both love and pain make us grow, whether we want to or not. The only solution I see is trust in the Good Lord, whichever way he carries us. It’s an act of faith that gives me hope.