Category: independent

Ryan’s Done With Training; Now A Professional

Ryan has finished lots this last school year.  He has finished Part I of his coffee internship.  He has also finished three years of training at RMG Imaging Artists.  He has grown so much as a result of these programs.

Ryan has professional skills that can now help him lead an independent life.  He has products for sale, and that number of products will increase as the year continues. Here’s a link to his online market: http://www.shop.rmgia.com/sellers/ryan-johnson/products/ 

The coffee internship has helped Ryan develop customer service.  Now he is much more confident greeting and talking with people.  Ryan is now working on the second part of the internship:  interview skills.

All these steps are literally that: steps on the road of Ryan’s life!

Ryan Moving Out?!

Ever since Ryan was a baby, he wanted to be independent.  As soon as he learned to walk at nine months, he was in constant motion.  At ten months, he was running.  He wanted to be where he was not.  Wherever we travelled, he explored his environment with great speed and enthusiasm.

As a toddler, he played with his toys by himself mostly, but he did laugh and enjoy his older brothers’ company.  I could hear him laugh with them.  He also loved to run with them.  He was a natural at distance running, which he had to be to keep up with the bigger boys.
As autism emerged, Ryan isolated himself into his own world.  I reflect back, and I surmise it was easier for him to exist.  He lost most of his speech.  At age four, he had command of 31 words, 15 of them were more akin to grumbles than real words.
Over the years we encouraged him and helped him learn to deal with our world.  He has grown into a young man of hidden talent, incredible imagination, and indisputable intelligence.  He can communicate well with anyone who asks him questions.  Most people would simply think he is a shy person.
He has wants and dreams like anyone else.  He craves to be recognized as an individual.  I respect his desire to move out and be responsible for himself.  Early this month we submitted an application for an apartment.  Pending that approval, there is an apartment vacancy coming at the end of the month that Ryan was offered.  Ryan enthusiastically accepted.  Ryan smiled.
Ryan’s photo work
As a mom, my goal is to raise children who will move out and be their own persons as adults.  My love is to push them out the door, ultimately.  My two oldest sons have moved out, and I happily let them go, with a slight twinge of bittersweet pang.  With Ryan I have more concern and questions regarding his readiness to face the world alone.  However, I am reminded that every man must face the world.  Alone.  Autism or not.
While I may lurk in the background, that is all I can probably do–lurk.  I have to let him go.  He may fall, and I won’t be able to kiss his cheek, wipe away a tear, and hug him.  I won’t be able to reassure him and encourage him spontaneously.  He will have to find his way, make his own decisions, and reap his rewards or consequences.
It may be more of a difficult transition for me than Ryan, but he has become his own man!

Your Boys Give Me Hope

Ryan, Nick, Cam.  A few years ago.  Windy beach day.

Last Friday, I was shocked.  I was leaving church when an elderly lady stopped me to ask a question.  “I hear your boys have a touch of Aspergers. How are you working with that? “

Several thoughts went through my head at once, yet I wanted to answer this woman concisely but thoroughly.  I must have hesitated too long.  She continued, “My grandson has been diagnosed with autism.”

Once she said that, I answered, “My boys have autism.  299.0.  No aspergers.  No high functioning autism.  Full blown autism.”

Her face reflected astonishment.  “I know your boys.  They are so polite, and they talk to me.”

Now it was my turn to be stunned.  I am always surprised when someone outside the family says that my boys “talk” with him or her.  How “talk” is defined by each person varies, but the social interaction of any sort is remarkable.  That makes me smile.  My boys are conversing to some level–independently.

Wow!

We continued our discussion briefly.  I outlined the therapies that have taken place in the last ten years.  I described the sensitivities and issues my boys faced back then, like non-communication and intolerance to transitions.  I mentioned the prescribed meds and the switch to a clean diet.

At the end of our five minute conversation, this woman’s face showed some sign of relief.  “Your boys give me hope for my grandson.”

That just made my day.  I was almost in tears.  I remember being in her shoes, hearing the diagnosis of my boys.  I know the long road that lays ahead of this boy and his family.  I am glad that his grandma can tell his mom that she knows some boys who are progressing well, despite autism.  Or better yet, with autism.

Autism and Interviews: Mindblowing!

Ryan with a smirk, after interview
So what did we do to get Ryan to the scholarship interview?  Twas a long process just to get to this point.  Many, many steps.
First step was convincing Ryan to apply.  Ryan has expressed that he doesn’t want to go to college.  Ryan wants to write his book.  I am fine with him writing his book.  I really like the fact that he can write.  It is an outlet for him–to create and express himself.  For a teen with autism, any outlet for creativity and expression is awesome!
Back to college.  I really don’t care if Ryan goes to college.  I want him to have a productive, happy, full life, doing what he wishes to do.  Ryan wishes to be independent.  How is that going to happen?  How is HE going to make it happen?  In Ryan’s words, “I’m not sure.”
Two years ago, Mike and I started to encourage Ryan to think about potential careers.  After months, we concluded that was too big a step.  We then narrowed the thought to jobs.  What type of job would Ryan want to do?  That still was too foreign to Ryan.  We fine-tuned our focus to classes.  What classes would Ryan enjoy?
None of these worked, ultimately.
We changed the approach.  We told Ryan he could not stay at our house and “be independent”.  We asked Ryan to define what independent meant to him.  Eventually, he said, “Do everything on my own.”  Steps.  We then wrote down what he meant by everything.  Finally, we hit money.  He wants to be financially free from us.  How?  He wants to write. 
Could he support himself with writing?  How much money would he need?  We required him to write a budget, which needed to include rent, utilities, and food.  Then there was transportation, entertainment, clothes, haircuts, etc.  Ryan realized he would need a lot of money, more specifically, a steady income.
More steps.
We then expanded a little.  Would writing produce that income?  How many professional writers lived entirely on their income from their written works?  Ryan could name one.  After research, he found that she didn’t live on her writings until she produced a book about a kid named Harry Potter.  That took a few years for her to acquire that income.
More steps to follow.