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| Ryan is in the top picture. He is sitting next to the moderator, 3rd from left. |
Photo Credit: AZ Assist
Ryan did very well at the convention. He sat thru some long talks, which were very informative to me. By 3pm he was tired– social engagement is like a marathon to kids with autism. Took a break. By 4pm he was giving his presentation, complete with power point and special effects. He spoke clearly and slowly. A job well done. I am a very proud mama!
A few weeks ago Ryan was invited to give a presentation at an upcoming autism conference. To my surprise, he accepted! For a kid who didn’t talk until he was 5 and has never really liked talking, this is HUGE. Ryan will be part of a panel of young adults with autism. They will speak individually about their lives with autism, and then they can focus on some aspect, whether it’s their future, their education, or their outlook on life.
Last week we met with the coach and monitor of this panel. Ryan was not comfortable at first, but he answered all of her questions. He showed her how he’d use a microphone. Basically, they covered the ground rules and expectations. He said he understood everything.
In the last week I’ve had to push him to finish his presentation with slides. He kept procrastinating, saying he’d work on it “tomorrow”. Finally on Tuesday, I said he needed to finish it, so he could practice his presentation with the slides. I love how there is always tomorrow…
On Wednesday he gave his presentation to his grandparents. They were quite happy! Ryan spoke clearly and slowly. Very deliberately.
I can’t wait until tomorrow.
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| Vanilla Beans |
I was asked yesterday how I get through the daily turmoil of autism. I replied, “A lot of prayer” and… “one moment at a time.” Makes me think, if I could remove the autism, of course, I would; however, I wouldn’t remove one moment of my life with these boys. The challenges, tears, etc. I’d keep it all. I love my boys.
Ryan turned 18 over the weekend. It was a happy occasion. I started planning the day about a week ahead of time. Having autism, Ryan doesn’t have a lot of friends. He talks with people, if they ask him a question. However, extended conversations still elude Ryan. Therefore, it is difficult to cultivate and maintain typical friendships. Since this was a milestone, I wanted it to be memorable for Ryan.
I surprised him in the morning by taking him out for a birthday breakfast. A local restaurant offers a free breakfast on the actual birth date. He had no problem with that. Ryan then visited a fellow home schooling family. I knew Ryan wanted to go to Benihana’s for dinner, but I had other plans in store for him. So we went to lunch there. He felt at ease since we had been there recently. He gave a big smile when the camera came around, as compared to the photo taken about a month ago. Ryan doesn’t usually smile with such ease.
In the evening I ran some errands with the boys to keep them guessing where we were going. I was successful for most of the ride. Eventually, they guessed where we were destined, but they didn’t guess a surprise party with extended family members. We had a wonderful pool party with cousins and relatives. Ryan enjoyed the surprise and the festivities.
I was very thankful that most relatives came. It is very hard for a parent to celebrate events for teens with autism. My sister’s comment illustrated the point. Her daughter asked why Ryan wasn’t celebrating with his friends? My sister had to explain to her daughter that autism can inhibit communication with others. So even kids who know Matthew quite well don’t fully comprehend what it’s like socially for a teen with autism. That circle of friends that seems so typical of teenagers doesn’t necessarily exist for these autistic kids.
It’s always a question for the parents: how to fill that void? I’m not sure there is an answer.
For now, I’m glad that Ryan had a happy birthday, and we continue to work on conversation skills.
Ryan came home from school with a list of needed items. I glance over the list of usual items, but there is an unusual one: a flash drive.
So I am no tech guru, as my children are. I am very comfortable living with pen and paper and a rotary phone. However, my children like the technological advances. I have always looked at some of these tools as luxury items, but school is now making these tools a necessity. And these are not cheap when multiple kids are involved.
When a friend of mine posted about this opportunity, I knew I had to pursue it: a free 2GB flash drives from USB Memory Direct. There is helpful information already loaded on the flash drive, geared to help moms. The 75 tips cover topics such as school lunches and snacks, homework, and after school activities.
You can find more information here as well as on Facebook and Twitter.
Who couldn’t use helpful information AND free school supplies?
By posting this promotion, I am eligible to receive a free flash drive. I receive no additional compensation.
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| Ryan, Nick, and Cam with me |
One of our summer endeavors has been to expose the boys to different ethnic restaurants because the boys still have sensory issues. We’d love to travel to various countries, but money dictates creativity. I set the boys on a hunt: to find restaurants with different ethnic or cultural foods. The computer blazed, and we found several different places.
We “travel” to a different country every time, which saves on airline costs. HA. Most of the restaurants are family owned. We have tried to stay away from the chain restaurant, but how they enjoyed Benihana! This place was infused with entertainment. The boys loved seeing the food sizzle in front of them. The chef amazed them with tricks like flipping the bowls into his hat. Quite a show.
The different country aspect is all a part of expanding their horizons with various tastes, textures, cultures. etc. They are now not as sensitive to unfamiliar smells, sounds, tastes, etc., as they were at the beginning of summer. So this “therapy” is working! Tis amazing how thinking outside the box has helped our boys.
Adventurous. Courageous. Thrilling. Suspenseful. Confusing. Just a few words that describe our voyage on the bus and light rail. Of course, it also depends on which boy answers that question.
We went with a group arranged by AZ Assist which is a local group formed to help young adults transition to adulthood. AZ Assist had planned this “field trip”, complete with a “tour guide” from Valley Metro, the company who runs the transportation. There were many people of different ages. It was a bit noisy for Ryan and Nick, but they were committed to the journey on which we had embarked.
We stepped on the bus and sat in the back as there was no room to sit in the front. We sat on the very last row, which reverberated with the air conditioner. It was so loud that we could not hear what our tour guide was saying in the front of the bus. Ryan and Nick were able to survive the noise by enjoying the scenery outside the windows. It was dark, so we could see all the lights in businesses that we passed.
Young Cam asked how do we let the bus driver know when we want to get off? BINGO. Good question. Cam said he could yell to the driver. I have no doubt he could, but not the best answer. We found small red buttons on poles along the bus that said STOP. Someone pushed it, and the bus came to a stop at the next scheduled stop along its route.
After a short ride on the bus, our group of about 50 people vacated the bus. We waited at the light rail station for a few minutes. We learned how to purchase and validate a pass on the machine. Then we entered a train-like vehicle. It was a quiet ride compared to the bus. The boys thoroughly enjoyed the light rail more than the bus. We showed the boys the map of the light rail, so they knew how to find the stops. There is no access to the driver on the light rail, so the boys need to know where to find information.
About ten minutes later, we emerged from the light rail train. We had finished our quest. On our trip home, I asked the boys what they thought about the trip. Ryan said if was fine, but he declined to share more. Nick said he was confused, but he offered a solution. He said he would learn to drive a car. Cam said it was fun to push the button on the bus.
Obviously, this was a new adventure, and we will need to repeat it. This was a trip out of their comfort zone, but it was a step in the direction of independence.
I took the boys on a life skills quest yesterday evening. We took public transportation, ie valley metro. We went on the bus then transferred to the light rail in Tempe. One son gets it. The other is more confused. The youngest figured everything out within minutes. It was a great experience because I’m really getting to see how the boys might respond as adults on their own.
The whole family has been on vacation since Sunday (so I won’t be writing directly about my past “breaks” from the family today). There have been minor catastrophes along the way, but the boys are showing great resilience. On Sunday, our air conditioner went out in the van. Not fun when driving through the desert of Arizona and California in the afternoon. I purchased small hand-held fans, which helped a bit. However, it was 109 degrees outside. The boys understood that it was going to be a hot ride, and they didn’t complain.
We tried to get the van fixed when we arrived in Northern CA. Unfortunately, the dealership had to order the part, and it would take a few days to arrive. Consequently, we had to get a rental car. So now the boys are riding an an unfamiliar car. Again, with minimal stress. The car is smaller than the van, so teen boys are having to adapt to smaller quarters. Adaptation is not easy for autistic kids, yet they seem to be handling the transitions well.
I don’t think this would have been possible even two years ago. The boys’ therapies have paid off incredibly. We have tried to push the transitions and sensory issues with baby steps through the years, ie getting used to light, sounds, and textures as well as changes in schedules and routines. We have talked with the boys as each of these current changes have happened, trying to ease them into the new circumstances. So through the therapies, including speech, they are doing very well so far.
Today we will be traveling in this smaller car to the coast and Redwoods, spending a lot of time in the car. Twill be interesting to see if they stay calm!
sherylscript 