Cameron vs Camp Pendelton

Looking down the barrel of the gun

Cameron left yesterday with his JROTC class for four days at Camp Pendelton in Southern California.  I read out loud to Mike everything that we are signing away on the release form, and Cameron was loving it: (injury from but not limited to) flying projectiles, explosions, flying and motor vehicles, live munitions…  The list goes on.

Activities involving massive weaponry would make any mom worry.  Not me so much. Instead, I worry about the military base surviving Cameron.  I think we should have had the administration on the base sign a waiver releasing us from lawsuits as they are bringing Cameron onto their field…

My dad introduced Cameron to real firearms when Cameron was quite young.  We wanted to ensure that Cameron, as well as all our boys–even with autism, knew how to use and respect guns. Consequently, my dad has taken the boys to a shooting range. Since then, Cameron has been working on marksmanship randomly, and he loves it.  He has decorated his room with the paper from his target practices.

I am not sure where Cameron’s interest grew.  Perhaps, video games and movies have inspired and enticed him.  He has joined the marksmanship club at school, so he continues to learn about the weaponry as he practices.

Cameron has found a hobby he likes, and he is quite good at it. Through the JROTC, he should learn the self discipline necessary to handle the dangers presented.  Of course, they don’t use live ammunition on campus, but guns still demand to be treated with care and maturity.  Cameron can be quite “spirited and enthusiastic” when given an opportunity to be unleashed!

Cameron is thriving on it all!

Here’s a link to Cam at target practice:  http://sherylscript.blogspot.com/2014/07/in-spirit-of-second-amendment-learning.html

Hugs

My sister-in-law wrote, “Never under estimate the power of a hug. This simple gesture is not really simple at all. Its complexity in action and response makes it one of the strongest forces in the world, making it heal almost anything!”

A hug is how we found out about deep pressure, which helps relieve sensory meltdowns when my boys were young.  It was one of those days when I was hanging onto sanity by a thread.  Ryan couldn’t talk at that time.  He wanted something and was going into a ballistic tantrum.  I couldn’t figure out what he wanted.

At the same time, Nick was hungry and needed to be fed.  Both kids chimed out, “MAMA!”

I gave Nick a quick snack, so I could focus on Ryan.

I was in tears, trying to figure out what Ryan wanted.  I couldn’t solve the mystery.  I ended up just hugging him really tight. At first, Ryan resisted.  He didn’t like to be touched, let alone hugged.  There were dents in the wall from Ryan leaning backwards to get away from people who wanted to hug him.

Within a few moments, we both calmed down.  Then he hugged me.  He was about four years old.  I received my first hug from Ryan.

Later I mentioned this to Ryan’s adaptive PE teacher.  She said they have weighted vests to help keep the kiddos calm.  The physical therapist also said that deep pressure helps.  She showed me how to apply it, and it worked every time.

Picture This: Growing Up with Autism

This last week, when I couldn’t sleep, I sorted the boys’ school pictures.  I laid them out side-by-side.  I was treated to smiling faces and seeing my sons grow into young men.

Except for when Ryan and Nick were four year old.  In those pictures, Ryan and Nick don’t smile.  They look stoic, blank, and empty, as if they were in pain.  I was surprised to see how the autism symptoms manifested themselves.  Although we noticed loss of communication when Ryan and Nick were two years old, they were totally emerged into their individual worlds by the age of four.  They loved being left alone doing their own rituals or form of play.  (There is a slight pause at these photos of Ryan and Nick at age four.)

Then the pictures reveal how the boys slowly emerged, relating to the world around them.  Cameron took the video of the pictures, as evident at the end via his somewhat humorous self-identification.

An Accomplished Young Adult with Autism

Mike with Nick at Senior Night

As the football season comes to a close, so does the marching band season.  Tis bittersweet for Nicholas, as he loves the camaraderie of the marching band. However, we have a reprieve!  The football team is in the playoffs, so the marching band continues to perform.

A few weeks ago, the marching band celebrated senior night.  My husband and I escorted Nick in front of the football stands during halftime.  As we walked, the announcer voiced Nick’s goals after high school–to study music and math.  Nick beamed.  He gave me a rose and a big hug.

Before giving roses to moms

I cherish these moments. Memories of his challenges as a youngster with autism are never far from me. Memories of Nick struggling with loud noises, and now playing in a marching band. Memories of Nick trying to express himself in words, and now expressing himself musically. Memories of Nick overcoming so many issues…  Nick is now emerging as an accomplished young man with autism.

This is a moment to celebrate in the life of Nick!

Nick Thriving with Music

Nick (middle) 
Nick loves music.  Seeing him play in marching band is more than a goal achieved.  He is happy.  That may sound like a simple statement, but it signifies a culmination of Nick’s intense therapies to live and achieve with the disability of autism.
As a toddler, he’d climb onto the piano bench and bang on the piano keys.  He started piano lessons at about the age of 8.  He did not necessarily pick up the concepts easily, but he practiced incessantly.
Nick about age 2

In fifth grade Nick decided to join band in school.  He chose to play the bells.  The classmates in his band class were extremely supportive and helped Nick learn the music.  The elementary school band teacher had ADD, so this teacher could relate to Nick–keeping instruction clear and concise.  Nick thrived.
In seventh grade his band teacher introduced Nick to other percussion instruments. It was a slow process to get him comfortable, but he persevered.  Again, his classmates helped Nick, if needed.
Nick continued band in high school.  His sophomore year, he joined the rhythm theatre band in addition to the regular band class.  The rhythm theatre band practices were after school, so this really illustrated how much Nick liked music–he was there because he wanted to be, not just to fill a class period.
In his junior year Nick added the marching band to his class schedule.  This class started an hour before the regular school day.  Nick, who was never a morning person, awoke at 5 am daily. 
Few of his classmates from elementary have continued to take band, but they have been the nucleus for meeting new friends via band.  I understand the marching band members become really good friends because they spend so much time practicing together.  However, I have never seen such acceptance and camaraderie that includes a student with autism.  This bond goes beyond the school walls.  We rarely can go to a store without Nick knowing someone.  Either he or the other person will stop, high-five, and chat. 

Now, Nick is a senior, and he continues to play in these bands. He wishes to pursue more piano lessons and wants to play in a band after high school.  Nick sums it up, “Music is my life.”
top photo credit:Shaylen Sparrow

The Job: Is This My Son Ryan?

Ryan guiding a new student
Last week Ryan moved up from intern to employee. What a change in him!!
When Ryan started these photo shop classes last year, he needed time to absorb the environment, people, schedule, let alone the content–typical of any young adult with autism.  I had hoped, that given time, Ryan would become comfortable and adapt.  What has occurred is beyond any expectation. 

When Ryan Johnson first came to RMG Imaging Artists, he spoke little and kept himself isolated from others, preferring to spend his breaks and conversational efforts completely immersed in the world of the novels he writes on his laptop. However, something happened over the past year; something akin to the astonishing metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly. Conversation has become a normal part of Ryan’s day, smiles spread across his face regularly, and he exhibits great pride in the work he performs. He has applied himself to achieve, and in so doing, he has earned a sense of accomplishment, self-assurance, and position of respect among his peers. Ryan now talks to staff and his fellow artists with confidence—an extraordinary and heartwarming transformation! 
-Denise Gary, RMG Imaging Artists LLC

This is beyond any hope I’ve had.  My eyes get misty…
Photo Credit:  RMG Imaging Artists 

Ryan Has A Job (but he didn’t tell us)

This conversation is quite indicative of Ryan.  He likes to keep to himself, or as we call it, he likes to stay in his world.  The owner of the photo shop classes and I have had several, small conversations on the side.  In this case, I knew a job for Ryan was very likely, but I didn’t know when.  It is imperative that parents of autistic adults stay in close contact with people who are around their young, autistic adult.

Wednesday evening:

Ryan

Mom:  How was class?
Ryan;  Fine.

Mom waits for elaboration, but knows none will come.

Thursday morning:

Mom:  How was class?
Ryan:  You asked me that yesterday.
Mom:  Yes, but all you said was fine. So how was class?
Ryan:  Fine.
Mom:  Did you do as well as you did last time?
Ryan:  Yes.
Mom:  Did they say anything about getting hired officially?
Ryan:  Yes.
Mom:  So??

Ryan says nothing.

Mom:  So you have a job?
Ryan:  Yes.

Mom’s eyes widen, and Dad turns around to face Ryan.

Dad:  Why didn’t you say this yesterday?
Ryan:  Um.
Mom:  Now you see why I asked you again?  You didn’t tell us this. This is great news!
Dad:  Yeah, this is a big deal.
Ryan:  Yeah (trying not to smile).
Mom:  SMILE.
Ryan:  Ok (with a silly grin).

We went out to dinner to celebrate to illustrate that it is important to share news with us.  How else could we mark the occasion??

 

Grandparents Smoochin’ (Tis Grandparents Day)

Last August my parents celebrated their 55th anniversary.  They have lived their wedding vows–good-bad, sickness-health, rich-poor, etc. They have four kids, several grand kids, and a couple of great grand kids. They have endured our disappointments and rejoiced at our accomplishments.

I can’t speak for them, but I think love has something to do with their longevity as a couple.  I have witness them draw strength from each other as well as drive each other crazy.  They sacrifice ceaselessly.

They have set the example for me and how I parent special needs kids. The endless issues and battles my husband and I face seem insurmountable.  However, when I see how my parents have survived turmoil and chaos, they inspire me to continue.  Our problems are very different, but the key to surviving and thriving is the same:  love.

Love endures all.

Thanks, Gma and Gpa!!

Three Teenagers–And Then There Were Two!

Nick, Cam, Ryan

Today is the last day I will have three teenagers in my home.  Tomorrow Ryan turns 20.  Talk about him growing up within the blink of the eye, but then I think of all the tears and joys along the way of his 20 years.  Quite a life he has lived so far.

For the first couple of years of his life, Ryan was fearless.  He knew no boundaries.  It was scary.  He met all his milestones early, such as walking when he was nine months.  As he developed sensory issues, he lost communication skills.  We went to doctors and specialists for several years.  He was diagnosed with several ABCs, 123s, meaning PDD-NOS, ADD, OCD, and speech delay.  Ultimately he was seven when he was diagnosed with autism.  His brothers were diagnosed the same year with autism too.

Our world was rocked.  We brought in lots of therapists to work with them.  None of the boys liked strangers.  Until Meredith.  The boys took to her.  Ryan was the fastest to respond because he liked her baby.  Meredith and Baby brought Ryan out of his world.  We loved her immediately.  She also worked well with Nick and Cam, but most people had the hardest time establishing a rapport with Ryan.  Unfortunately, Meredith moved, and Ryan had to adapt.  That didn’t work so well, but that relationship showed us that Ryan could connect with people outside the family. That was 12 years ago.

Ryan showing Dad his photos

Ryan has had many therapists since, and he has moved beyond what any doctors thought possible.  He continues to grow beyond our initial hopes after the diagnosis.  In fact, he finding his way in the world slower than his peers, but he is succeeding.  For example, we have been surprised by his maturity in the last year, especially as illustrated in his photo shop class.  He was quiet and shy, and now he is assisting beginners.

I can’t wait to see what this decade will bring Ryan!

Second photo credit:  RMG Imaging Artists

No Job? No College? Why?

Ryan assisting new student

School is back in session for my youngest three boys. The younger two are in high school, and Ryan is going to which college?  He isn’t sure how to answer. Then they ask, “Well, where do you work?” Awkward silence follows.

In the typical world, a person graduates from high school, and then he attends college or gets a job. Friends and family are curious and wish to share in what’s going on, and they ask, “What college…?” In the life of an adult with autism, that can be a frustrating conversation.

Why?  The set expectation does not apply to the autistic world.

I have listened to these conversations from a distance. Ryan usually does muster enough information to answer questions.  Nonetheless, the other person is still perplexed because Ryan isn’t following the “expected” format. He’s not going to college.  He’s not working.  However, he’s on the road to both.

We have developed a description of what Ryan’s status is.  Ryan attends a private trade school.  He is learning skills to be an imaging artist.  Currently, he is interning to assist new students.  This can lead to a paid position as a PIT (photoshop imaging tech) crew member.

Life is hard enough when it doesn’t fit into a preconceived idea.  It’s even more difficult to try to explain the “what I’m doing” let alone the “why I’m doing” this.  Now add the lack of communication that is symptomatic of autism.  Double whammy!  Yet, Ryan perseveres!

Photo credit: RMG Imaging Artists