Category: happy

Ryan Is Driving On His Own!!

Ryan celebrating with Grandma

Five days ago Ryan took the drivers test and passed.  He has a drivers license. Unfortunately, I was not with him, but Ryan texted me immediately.  “I got it: my drivers license,” was his exact statement.

I called him, and I asked how it felt, “Good.”   I could hear him smiling.  Rare.  Ryan was genuinely happy.  I was happy too.  It’s been a long haul for him to arrive at this point.

Eighteen months ago, Ryan didn’t want to drive. He didn’t want the responsibility.  Ryan was quite content to let us drive him around.  Not a lot of ambition.  That doesn’t sit well, especially when Ryan wants to be independent.  I never understood that concept:  he wants to be independent, but he doesn’t want the responsibility.

Mike and I simply stated that if Ryan wanted to be independent, he needed to pursue skills that will make him independent.  Mastering some sort of transportation was a must–be it public or private transportation didn’t matter.  He needed to be able to get to places on his own, especially if he wanted a job.

So Ryan had taken the drivers ed course at high school.  He “drove” the simulators, but just wasn’t ready.  We didn’t push for a few years. However, when he graduated from high school, we pushed a little bit.  Thanks to my parents, Ryan earned his drivers permit last summer.  And ding–Ryan suddenly liked driving.

Now he can drive without me.  Yea.  He has a smile on his face. Constantly.  He is very happy with this new-found independence.  He even agreed that the responsibility is worth it!

Tennis Season Is Done and The Payoff

Nick and Ryan

Ryan and Nick finished their tennis season a few weeks ago.  They were happy to be done with daily practice.  I am thrilled they stuck with the sport through the entire season.

There were days when Ryan did not want to go.  “It’s hot,” or “I don’t feel like it.” Then there’s the classic, “I have homework to do.”  However, Ryan did continued to go.  On the other hand, Nick did not voice any complaints, but I bet the heat bothered him occasionally.  We strongly encouraged both of them throughout the season. Even the grandparents helped coach and practiced with them.  It is hard to say, “I’m tired,” when a couple of 70+ years are out on the court!

We stressed the commitment and the membership of belonging to a team.  They just couldn’t quit.  They understood, and finished they did!

They really enjoyed the sport.  As Ryan said, “I don’t have to run all the time.  There’s breaks.”  Nick wants to join the team next year.  “By then I’ll be really good cuz I’m going to practice lots.”  Knowing Nick, he’ll follow through.

From a mom’s point of view, here is the payoff for my kids with autism:  they are receiving texts inviting them to go out and play tennis.  Kids with autism have such a difficult time talking, socializing, etc., and it’s so easy for others to NOT invite them.  It saves everyone that uncomfortable, awkward situation of what to say or do.

Out on a tennis court, that situation is removed.  They play tennis.  They talk tennis.  It’s a basis for a friendship to grow.  The sport builds camaraderie between teammates, as well as the competition between opponents.  The teammates and opponents can be one and the same too!

My boys are happy as well!  Which makes Momma happy!

Autism and Scholarships: Thrilling!

Yesterday Mike and I were absolutely thrilled to watch Ryan walk across the stage at his high school to receive a certificate.  This certificate recognized Ryan as a recipient of an academic scholarship.  There were moments when I doubted we’d get to this point.  Even applying for the scholarship had its moments.  I’ve described some of that in previous posts, so I won’t belabor “the steps” here.

Ryan’s response to the event really surprised me.

He was happy.  If you know Ryan, he doesn’t smile often.

He tried to hide his smile when he walked down the steps of the stage, but for once, he couldn’t hide his true emotion.  He smiled, well ok, he smirked.  He KNEW this was an accomplishment.  He LIKED being recognized.  Not comfortable. But liked.

New territory for Ryan.

After the ceremony, there was a reception.  News about that will come in the next entry!