Started Working Full Time Today

Well, today I started working full time, outside the home. I left Corporate America after our third son was born, so it has been years! I have to admit it was fun to be out of the house, using my brain in a new, challenging way. New people, new environment, new responsibilities… no problem! Right?

I have to admit that I had questions as to whether or not I would be successful. However, I just listened, took notes, and asked questions. I felt very confident by the end of the day–that I had done my best. I was no longer worried about success.

So how did everything go at home? First, I was happy that the house had not burned down. Second, I saw the boys getting dinner. The table was set. The boys argued about what time to eat. They argued about who was going to cook muffins, rice, or ?? They each wanted something different. Third, I had to teach piano lessons, so I only had time to encourage them to work together.
By the time I was done teaching, dinner was over. I saw the muffin tin in the sink, so I knew that muffins won. I have no idea who mixed and baked them. No one bragged to me. I only saw the boys were all reading or doing home work. Really!
Then Nick started a load of laundry. When the washing machine stopped, Stuart moved the clothes from the washer into the dryer. They were working together!!!
Maybe I should have started this working thing a while ago… there were no problems. Day One Down.

The Countdown Begins: Second Task: Dinners


We have slowly tackled dinners. Over the last several days, I have doubled the recipe for whatever meat dish we made for dinner. We ate half, and froze half. So now we have enough meat dishes for a week.


The only problem here is that I will be working (I hope) longer than one week. The next step to tackling dinner was asking all the boys to learn to cook one complete meal.

Cameron stepped up and volunteered to cook dinners on Tuesday. I asked him what he wanted to make. He looked in the fridge, and he came back with a menu: hot dogs, apples, carrots, and muffins. That’s not bad for a nine year old. The menu was definitely kid-friendly. Now to see Cam in action.

I walked Cam through each step. We started with muffins. Since all the boys are gluten-free, we made muffins with rice flour, potato flour, and tapioca flour. Within 30 minutes, we had homemade muffins, complete with cinnamon. I made sure Cam knew how to check if the muffins were done with the toothpick. If it comes out of the muffin “clean”, the muffins are done.

The hot dogs came next. He started to boil water while the muffins were in the oven. He opened the package of hot dogs, and the “juice” spilled. Well, he saved the hot dogs from flying out, but he did have to clean the “juice”. While the hot dogs cooked, Cam cut the carrots and apples.

Dinner that night was colorful and easy. Cam was extremely proud of his meal!
photo credit:Alesist

The Countdown Begins: First Task: Laundry


Over the last ten days the boys and I have discussed what they will have to do while I am working full time. Some of them volunteered to do extra responsibilities. Others were volunteered by me.

Nick volunteered to do the laundry. He already knew how to separate the colors. Yea. He proceeded to stuff everything in the washing machine. I had to gently tell him to keep the clothes loose, so that the water and soap could actually clean.

Then I made the mistake of answering the phone while Nick put in the soap. Upon my return I saw soap covering all the clothes. I asked him how much he put in. He responded, “Enough.” Trying not to flinch, I showed him how much he should have put in, two tablespoons. He shyly whispered that he put in about five more. Since we make our own laundry soap, I was not too sure what the result would be. I could imagine the movie scene, where the machine oozes bubbles throughout the house. Alas, no such thing happened.

Then the next morning I found those same clothes still in the washing machine. I asked Nick about putting them in the dryer. “But you didn’t say I had to!” Is this a mom thing or what? When clothes are put in the washing machine, they have to go in to dryer…

So I reran the load, and then put them in the dryer. The clothes came out fine. Now they sit on the couch because no one has said, “Please fold your clothes.”

It’s become quite obvious that what I think is obvious is not to the boys. They need specific directions, but then again, I have been doing this for years. It is very easy to forget how I learned, yet I want them to master these tasks NOW. Nick responded quite well to suggestions and compliments. Gee, I prefer those too!
photo credit: antwerpenR

Self Preservation: Adapt

It’s been two weeks since I have posted “life”, but “life” is surely happening. In the last two weeks, our floors were FINALLY replaced. We can now put furniture in a normal arrangement. All of our belongings are finding their homes. It is so nice to have some order again. The boys are adjusting from the temporary norm to what was the norm.

I have been offered a full time job. It is seasonal, so I don’t know how long it will last. In light of this wonderful economy, I have accepted this job. I know it’ll make life very interesting, not that life isn’t already. I hope that my boys will adjust, and they will become more independent. More than likely, they will be fine, and I will be the one worrying about how they are managing.
I will keep home schooling my boys as well a maintaining my self-employment. There is no doubt that this could get stressful, but I do look forward to the challenge. It is good to have some twists and turns in life; it’s a chance for growth. That is only going to happen if there is a need to adapt or adjust. Just like my boys had to adapt with our house being torn up, I will have to adjust to some new demands.
In my next post, I will write about how I am preparing the boys and myself for this new gig.

Autism and Hope: Progress and Recovery

Last Friday night Ryan went to a new social setting, which alone was an amazing feat. The incredible part was Nick encouraging his older brother to “be brave; don’t be a coward; you can do it”. Nick commented to me as we were walking away from Matt, that maybe he should stay and help Ryan. Nick is the boy who expressed suicidal thoughts two years ago. Nick’s confidence and tone were foreign to me. Nick is no longer the little boy who needs my protection. Eight years ago doctors said “autism” and “institutions” and “nothing you can do”… Yes, I’m stubborn. I wasn’t going to give up on my boys, but I never dreamed… prayers being answered… Nick’s autism was more severe than Ryan’s… their courage… their potential…


Of course, there were stressful years before the boys’ diagnosis of autism. All the years were anxious, stressful, laborious. There were no guarantees that any therapy or drug would help. After eight years since the diagnosis, definitive progress for both boys is evident. YEA! They still have a hard journey ahead…

Last Friday night was so bittersweet, but I’m loving it!

Photo credit:BLW Photography

Is The MMR Shot Dangerous?

I can only give my experience with that shot. It changed my son, Cameron, from a normal, spirited, bouncy boy to a lethargic, sluggish, inert child. No motion. No speech. This is from my December 11, 2009 entry:

Cam, like all my other sons, was born healthy and normal. He met his milestones on time. At a year old he was a walking and talking machine.

At 13 months he received the MMR shot. Within two days Cam had lost all motion and speech. He was a blob of tissue. It took him three weeks to start moving. He had to relearn how to sit, crawl, and walk. It took him three months before he started babbling. He had to relearn how to talk.

That shot triggered autism in Cam. He had no tendency whatsovever towards autism before the shot.There is much more about Cam in my December 11 blog entry about his behavioral changes. Witnessing the changes in him within such a short time after the MMR shot convinces me that not all side effects of the MMR shot are known.
I have attached a link to an article that blasts a doctor who warned parents about the MMR shot. I have no knowledge if his studies and practices were done according to any sort of protocol. However, I know of my own experience with those who don’t believe in any other source of medical authority, other than mainstream medicine.
Click Here to see article.
My two older autistic boys, Ryan and Nick, were on medication for two years, prescribed by medical doctors. They did not progress. My husband and I dared to take them off their medication, and we saw NO difference. We started to research alternative treatments to deal with the problems as those prescriptions only dealt with symptoms. We found that a gluten-free and casein-free diet worked for our boys. We implemented various vitamins, including B12 shots. They responded positively to these protocols.
Doctors, psychologists, and other professionals told us that we were wasting our time and money. Nonetheless, the teachers begged us NOT to change whatever we were doing because they could see differences in the boys, all positive. Ryan had stopped all tantrums. Nick was more social. Both had less anxiety and more willing to try new things.
I simply question the wisdom of the medical ideology that “one size fits all”. I applaud parents who care enough about their children to make well-informed decisions regarding the health of their children. As I have said in another blog entry, I am not anti-vaccine. I do think prudence is necessary when administering them. I do not think exposing a 12 month baby to five vaccines is a good idea. Do one shot at a time to see what side effects may occur.
Parents are the experts of their children, and quite often, the medical profession forgets that. So is the MMR shot dangerous? I can only advise that parents research that specific shot and make a decision, rather than just accepting blindly what strangers recommend.
photo credit:Axel Rouvin

How To Enjoy Raindrops

Ryan could sit and stare at raindrops for hours. At the age of four, he was very content to sit and watch. He could not talk then, so I really had no idea what he was thinking.

I wonder if he remembers. I can only imagine that he was looking at the raindrops like most kids look at clouds. I remember looking at clouds and trying to imagine what those shapes could be… a hand, an elephant, a tree.
Maybe Ryan was playing the connect the dots in his mind, or maybe he simply just watched the drops to see where they went. Could he have imagined that those drops were mini-worlds?
I do know that those drops kept Ryan entertained for hours. He quietly observed. He dared to touch a few drops. He quickly dried his fingers. He listened to the rhythm as the rain dripped. Then he repeated the pattern with his own fingers on the ground.
Some people could call this obsessive-compulsive behavior. I would like to think he was learning about his environment.
At this point in my life, I would love to take the time to watch raindrops for longer than a few seconds. Maybe Ryan was onto something much bigger than just watching raindrops. Maybe he found a few moments of peace.
photo credit:tibchris

Patience

We are in the middle of painting–waiting for the new floor to get installed. Maybe this weekend the floor will get done. I have been amazed at how well the boys have adapted to our unpredictable way of life for the last two weeks.

They need more time to accomplish certain tasks, but overall, they have adjusted well. Ryan has adapted the easiest of the youngest three boys. He allows more time to do each task. Nick gets frustrated, but he persists. Cam wants to jam through everything; consequently, a second time is usually required.
Keeping calm is the name of the game. SIGH.

How To Channel and Develop Touch: Sensory Board

Kelly, our occupational therapist, strongly suggested we make a sensory board for the boys. The purpose of this board was to channel their tactile sensitivity. Our goal was to educate them about touch, literally direct their sense of touch. We did not want to desensitize; we did not want to deaden their sense of touch.


Now getting the boys to cooperate was a different matter.

We started simply: a plain piece of white cardboard. We asked the boys to look at it. The boys looked at it. No problem. Then we asked them to touch it. The boys had no problem touching it. Those were huge steps. Each step was followed by praise.

Over the following weeks, we slowly attached different materials to the board, adding only one at a time. Each material had a different surface. We included sand paper, silk, velvet, denim, wool, and plastic. Each piece was about three inches. Each new piece presented trials for each boy.

I touched the material first. I had to show the boys that I would not get hurt. Then I usually did a hand-over-hand with the boys. That means I took their hand and touched the new sample gently. I quickly let their hand go. Then it was up to them to willingly touch. Sometimes it took several attempts over months to get the boys comfortable to touch each sample.

We did not spend a lot of time in this activity. It really was a few minutes three or four times a week. I am not really sure how long it took for the boys to master the “touch” of the board; I think it was a year.

We then ventured into more surfaces, such as wood, sand, metal, and glass. We talked about the uses of each as the boys held the sample. We also cautioned them about the hazards of each.

As they adapted to these new surfaces, we tried going outside. Grass, trees, sidewalks, anything that was in their environment posed tactile problems. So the next step was to introduce more surfaces in a controlled environment: a sensory room. I’ll write about our sensory room next time!