Category: special needs

New Occupational Therapist Was Ryan’s Classmate

Ryan and Nick have a new occupational therapist.  She is on the young side, but she has great ideas about how to merge the outside world and the autistic world.  Her name is Alex, and she has been employed for several weeks now.  I am thrilled that the boys are now working with a peer.  They need to be able to relate to their peers at school and at work.

Peers.  More to that word… after talking with Alex about the boys’ background and goals, we discussed schools.  My boys have attended several schools within the school district, but when I mentioned one, Alex lit up and said she went there for fifth and sixth grade.  Alex and Ryan are the same age.  Ryan quickly disappeared and returned with a school yearbook.  Alex recognized it, “That’s my yearbook.”

They were classmates.

Ryan found his sixth grade picture, and Alex said, “I know you!  You were a little silly and quiet.”  Alex then found her sixth grade picture, and Ryan could vaguely remember.

This was the first time I’ve ever heard what a fellow student thought of one of my sons at that time.  No one ever described Ryan as silly, but if she weren’t aware that Ryan had autism, that is very understandable.  A mom always worries about how her sons fit in, especially a mom of special needs kids.

The rest of the session was remembering shared experiences and memories:  science camp where Mr. Adams proposed to Miss Nelson, sixth grade teachers, friends and classmates, etc.  Ryan talked a lot.  He smiled and even laughed a few times.  I could not believe the lively interaction between therapist and client.

Nick was two years behind Ryan, so Nick and Alex’ paths did not cross much.  Nick does not remember her, but he smiled when I told him Alex went to the same elementary school.

What a turn of events!  The boys now will really be working with a peer, which is exactly what they need.  I am really looking forward to this new perspective for the boys’ continued growth towards independence!

Best Christmas Gift: All My Sons Together

Nick, Stuart, Ryan, Cameron, Michael

Not exactly a Christmas photo, but it was taken a week ago.  They had planned a garage sale together.  They all contributed in some manner, and they split the profit.

I don’t get to see my boys together very often.  Mike moved out a decade ago, so activities that include all of them are rare.

I enjoyed seeing them work as a team, and getting along.  So many times I hear that siblings don’t get along, especially when special needs like autism are involved.  Best Christmas present a mom could ever get!

Merry Christmas!

Potential Job/Career Idea!!

Last year I found a group that meets monthly to help kids with autism transition into adulthood.  These meetings feature speakers or events.  Last night Ryan and I attended the meeting that debuted a family business looking to train and hire teens and young adults on the autism spectrum.

That is highly unusual.  Autism usually strikes fear is employers.  This business is SEEKING THEM OUT!

I was very hopeful, but also very suspicious.  My teens with autism want to be independent.  I want them independent.  With 90% of autistic adults unemployed, this could be such a blessing!  But who looks for autistic teens?  Well, we went to find out.

The speakers were from a family business–four generations in the business.  The fourth generation, the son, has Aspergers, which is a form of autism.  We heard the family history, and the success of the business.

These parents realized the success of their son was due to his symptoms of Aspergers–focusing for long periods of time, perfecting the details, wanting to work alone, etc.  I could see both of my sons fitting into this description easily.

I was quite impressed with the family’s plan for their new business venture.  It covered everything from basic training to career opportunities.  My thoughts jumped:  job training; financial security; solid career; personal fulfillment–ideas that many parents worry about their kids with special needs.  This seemed to be an answer.

The only downside is that there is a cost.  Not that it’s expensive.  But money is money.  Since this is a pilot program, there is no guarantee or track record of success.  And will my kids really like it?  Oh!  Moms can be so worrisome.

Well, Ryan and I are exploring the opportunities presented last night.  The timing may not be right, but this is at least an opportunity.  It’s so important to have a path, a direction in life.  Even Ryan acknowledges that!  So, here’s to some research and maybe a sale-able trade!

Autism: Paper Never Ends

I’m drowning in a sea of paper.  I sort.  I file.  I purge.  I shred.

I know science says that spontaneous generation doesn’t occur, but every mom of a special needs kid knows otherwise!

I invest hours maintaining files, and I never seem to keep up.  My desk has files to be filed.  My table has mail to be sorted.  My counter has paper to go somewhere…

It’s a thankless job, but worth doing.  Every step of every process demands proper documentation of diagnosis and prognosis.  Schools, doctors, insurance, and government might help IF the paperwork is complete.  The proper paperwork must always be filled out before anything is done.

Yesterday I talked with a counselor at the local community college regarding the potential enrollment of my autistic son.  The first words out of his mouth were, “Do you have proper documentation?”  I laughed, and I said, “How many years of documentation do you want?  I have every assessment, psychological evaluation, doctor’s notation, specialist’s recommendation, and school IEP since my son was three.”  Silence followed.  He responded, “Well, most people don’t have that much. I guess just bring the most recent.”  Easy to do.

So as I keep this need for documentation in mind, I continue to sort, file, purge, shred. 

Do Not Be Anxious About Anything

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ.

Philippians 4:6-7


Worry. Anxiety. Concerns. Problems. To all of them I say, “Ick.” Who needs them? Nevertheless, we get them, whether or not we have special needs kids.


I know we can decide to be happy or not, but always being an optimistic eludes me. Sometimes screaming just is easier. Or being totally silent.


There are a few biblical passages or famous sayings I have found that help me get through those moments when I am less than good ol’ Pollyanna. I try to focus on one for a few minutes each day, usually in the morning before the chaos begins. That translates into “before the kids get up”. I am not a morning person, so I’m only up a few minutes before the herd.


I have had several moms tell me that the above quote from Philippians hits home. It’s part of my “email signature” right now. I don’t know how many people actually read it. I do know that some have found inspiration from it, just like I did.


So for today, it is still one moment at a time, trusting Christ will see me through. Therein lies peace.

Break Time

Everyone needs a break now and then from the demands of life. I find the beach to be the perfect place to veg. I took this picture about 20 years ago on a vacation. This is the Island of St. John in the Caribbean. This is the one place where any spirit can soar. Peace, tranquility, and beauty.

As a self-employed mom of special needs kids, home schooling, and wife, I need to escape once in a while. Self-preservation. This photo provides a great five-minute mini-vacation. Of course, I have the memories of a wonderful vacation with family and friends.
I hope you enjoy it.

Celebrate Successes Often

I just attended a wonderful annual event called the Birthday Party for Jesus. It’s an event that is sponsored by our home schooling group. Every year the kids get to show off their wonderful skills of whatever they wish to “give” to Jesus.
This year many children recited poems, sang songs, and played instruments. It definitely reminded me of The Little Drummer Boy, when he arrived at the feet of the Baby Jesus and had nothing of material worth to give. However, he showed his love for the Babe through his talent of music through the drum. These children gave of themselves; whether timid or bold, they shared a priceless treasure.
My youngest four sons participated, including my two autistic sons, Ryan and Nicholas, as they have done for the last three years. They all played the piano, with varying success, but they played. As a music teacher, I was so focused on “how well” they played that I wasn’t “mom” and simply enjoyed that they played. It took three different mothers to tell me how much they enjoyed my sons’ playing to make me realize how critical I can be rather than enjoying the simple pleasure of their talents.
These admirable ladies also remarked on how my autistic sons have progressed over the last three years. Mrs. L reminded me that Ryan didn’t even participate three years ago, although he was prepared. He simply would not do it. I totally forgot that. Mrs. S expressed how much progress Ryan has made in the last two years. She relayed that Ryan talks and joins in the activities with the other teens when he visits on Teen Night. It was Mrs. P who enlightened me that whatever I may know about the musical score, that to everyone else, it was music, and they enjoyed it. My sons, including the ones with autism, were successful.
I found myself absolutely surprised. How could I forget those small steps of success? The successes are so few, but monumental. I can only think that those successes are overshadowed by the daily turmoil of endless therapies and redundant lessons. Every parent of a special-needs child knows that every success celebrates the result of hard work, but it is quickly replaced with another goal. Being able to answer with one word is replaced by being able to answer with two words. Being a parent of kids, let alone autistic kids, offers endless tasks of teaching them everything they need to live, but we really have to celebrate those victories. And remember them.
Thanks to Mrs. L, Mrs. S, and Mrs. P. Thank you very much!
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