Today Mike and I attended our last IEP meeting. Yippee! I counted 47 IEP meetings, at least, since 1997. Two of our younger four boys had varying disabilities, ranging from speech impairment to autism. Both of them, Stuart and Cameron, have sufficiently progressed to function as neuro-typical kids! The other two, Ryan and Nick, still have autism, but their progress is no less remarkable!
So what is an IEP? Basically, it’s a written contract in which educational goals are written for the individual with special needs. Its focus is to educate the individual person, geared towards the issues and abilities of said person. IEP stands for individual educational program.
These meetings can be stressful and grueling, or they can be uplifting and reassuring. HA. They are usually grueling.
The participants are comprised of teachers, a psychologist, therapists, parents, and student, called the TEAM. Frequently, the school staff discuss the goals of the student before the meeting, though I don’t think anyone would really admit to that. When the meeting commences, the goals are already written. If the parents agree with those goals, there is no problem. If the parent disagrees, then PROBLEM. It can become a battle or a downright WAR.
Sometimes our meetings would last three hours, and we’d have to postpone any conclusion. Those were horrific. Our child’s needs were not being addressed appropriately, and as parents, we had to ensure they were.
And the paperwork! I have four binders full.
Over the years, I learned that certain vocabulary terms were necessary to get what my child needed. Also, what one school could do was different from what another school could do, even in the same district. Some special ed classes were offered only at select schools. The staff, depending how dedicated to the student, may or may not want to implement other goals.
Quite often, I felt like an intruder rather than a team member. I always had someone else accompany if possible. Whether it was my husband or father, having an advocate helped streamline the meeting.
Not all meetings were terrible. Some could be pleasant, especially if I knew the staff. Getting to know the principal, secretary, and teachers helped to get my children what they needed. I volunteered a lot. That made a huge difference, and my boys prospered.
So with this last IEP, all my boys are moving toward adulthood. As they transition into the “real” world, my life also adjusts. There are no contracts with employers or colleges. I am concerned how my boys will progress, but as always, it’s one day at a time. Seeing how they have succeeded thus far, I am confident they will find their way, and I will find mine.
GOOD BYE, IEPs!
sherylscript 